Sometimes the beauty and hope of a new year turns into a rapidly deteriorating storyline.
I have a long list of ideas for upcoming posts, but my fingers hesitate to string words together with each attempted keystroke. Because not talking about the start of this year feels like delaying an inevitable explanation for where my mind has been wandering the last several months.
The first week of January was relatively kind to my family, but we could all feel a shift on the horizon. A gradual one was anticipated. Instead, life toppled everyone over. And though the full story and series of events are not mine to share, my individual plot twist has been weighing on me.
Another life-threatening allergic reaction.
My first in over three years. A length of time that allows enough confidence and comfort to creep in and convince you the last one, maybe, was the LAST ONE.
Obviously, the vulnerability to anaphylaxis does not simply disappear because a certain number of days, months, or years go by. The possibility is, however, a nice thought to entertain.
Everything went right care wise, thank goodness. My purse had new EpiPens picked up from the pharmacy a week prior. I was not alone. An emergency medical team was available almost immediately. The treatment protocol from ER doctors and nurses worked as intended and I was discharged home eight hours later.
Recovery has gone as well as possible. My doctors were thorough in the aftermath, preventing additional complications. The only remaining physical evidence is a slightly thinner frame. Regaining the lost weight is happening at a slower pace than desired.
Mentally, everything has lingered. Frustration over anaphylaxis happening in the first place, despite taking all my usual precautions. Guilt over causing my family to worry about me during a time when enough pain and sadness existed. The temporary pity party over severe allergies interfering with all aspects of my life is going strong, too.
I know these feelings are normal and expected, despite previously resembling a secret. Sometimes releasing their existence into the world helps fade the amplification.
Another emergency room visit timestamps the arc of this story. Surely not the last. Hopefully the next one is many years down the road.
As always, thank you for being here.
https://pin.it/6VoX5IaJR
I apologize for my ineptitude with computers, but the image is heart-felt.
I'm sorry you ended up in the hospital, and I'm sorry you had to experience all the associated stresses involved with such a severe allergic reaction. I'm glad you are home.
Life can be such a challenge. Good times are such a treasure. xo